When I had the most energy I was about 19 years old. I had two jobs. In the morning I watched babies all through the day and watched movies all night. I worked at a daycare and video store. I haven't changed very much. I still watch babies all day and movies all night. I just don't get paid for doing it anymore. I've known who I was for so long, but have spent years in self denial. When I got a little older. I put so much away and am spending years trying to get it back. There were songs I wouldn't play (one of my favorites growing up was Don't Stop Believing by Journey )and dresses I wouldn't wear. Things I wanted that I wouldn't let myself want and dreams I refused to dream. Memories I wouldn't pull out of dusty boxes. I let myself harden because I was told I was too sensitive. I denied myself not because I didn't love myself, but because I wanted to survive myself.Now I don't have that kind of young energy, but I pray for it. I want my younger heart and easier breath.
"We proclaim Him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor struggling with all energy which so powerfully works in me."(Col 1:28 NIV)
Paul's work was counseling and teaching. God energizes our efforts even when we are too tired to walk.
I want to do so much more than survive and walk. I want to soar and fly. I want to be carefree and to be happy.
I pray for the people in Haiti.
1 comment:
Claire and I just read this together. My levels of energy go up and down; but generally, I have more and am able to do more now than I could about 5 years ago. I was just pushing too hard, and wearing myself out. As Benjamin says, find the balance between diligence and running faster than you are able.
Thanks for having the time and energy to share your words. I like them too.
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