Something to look forward to

Now that the holidays are over. I am a bit bored. I miss people and don't know when I will see them next. Right now all I can think of to look forward to is my monthly book club and church on Sunday.I check my email and blogs more than ever before.
This time has been great for me as the kid's teacher. We've been getting so much done without other distractions. I have put away all other projects and haven't felt the desire to bring them out. I've been reading every day. I have ennui (sigh), one that I've had before. I've been calling people on the phone every day too. I've been visiting the library daily. I feel like I'm looking for something, but I don't know what. I've been trying to stay positive.
This weekend the dryer and washer broke on the same day. It was the wrong kind of excitement. Zach fixed the dryer. Now we have to start it before we close it. I'm fine with that. Thankfully, we had a back up washer in storage from our house in Salt Lake City.
Other than our beds, dressers, my fabric, few personal belongings and the kitchen table this was all we had left from that house. The house that I poured my heart into for six years. The house that broke my heart. I never felt we deserved it. There were weeds in the yard all the time and mice in the garage. The whole time I felt like a fake and a phony. It was a beautiful house and I felt I was letting it down because
I couldn't fix all the things I wanted to fix. It's too late now and I don't even have a picture of it. In a way I'm glad I don't. I don't think I could stand looking at it.

Looking at this washer is the weirdest thing. I remember I had a laundry room instead of doing laundry in the middle of a hallway in a trailer. I'm starting to feel like this trailer is home. Still I feel the need to fix things here. At least I never feel like I don't deserve this. I know I do. I spent too much money I didn't have and am paying the price. It was an expensive lesson. One I hope I never forget. I have so much to be thankful for. We get by with help from our friends. Thank you friends; you give me something to look forward to.

I took the kids for a walk yesterday and here are the pictures. They are wearing scarves my mom made.